Never Thought!

Good morning everyone!  It’s been a while, but I just wanted to take the time and say there is such a thing as true happiness.  The caveat to that is true happiness lies within yourself, and not someone else.  It took me a really long time to finally and without hesitation to embrace that concept.  I’ve always known that, but I can honestly say I am the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life.  Once I realized the notion that I owe nothing to no one and no one owes nothing to me, that’s when all the pieces fell into the correct spaces.  I accept all things as they are, and the only person I am truly responsible for is myself.  That being said, I have profound freedom in all areas of my life . . . emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually.  However people want to be is their decision, but my decision is to be me and to be happy to be me no matter what.  Happiness is within all of us . . . set it free!

Love: Express It – Do Not Possess It!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

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 1 Corinthians 13

Love: Express It – Not Possess It!

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

1 Corinthians 13

Stop! Look! Listen! Be Aware!

We have heard these words many times, but have we ever really sat down and heed to the commands?  Oftentimes we stop but we don’t look or listen.  If we don’t look or listen, then it’s very hard to be aware.  All these factors work hand-in-hand, and you cannot have one without the other.  You can, but the level of efficacy will be quite slight in comparison to if you worked all these factors in unison.  When we stop, we usually stop due to something or someone gaining our attention.  Maybe even to prevent us from going in the wrong direction or treading in unchartered waters or a land of unfamiliarity. It can be very frightening to venture into something we know very little about.  This is especially true of relationships and people.  We can be vulnerable when we don’t take the time to stop, look and listen to our instincts.  Our inner voice.  That uneasiness we have that we tend to ignore because we want to continue on the path to which we are traveling.  We want to see where it leads and where we will end up.  We lose sight of being aware.  We are not allowing the stop, look and listen processes to work for us.  We continue doing what we want to do in spite of that still small voice telling us to do otherwise.  Lots of unpleasant things can be avoided if we stop, look and listen.  Bad relationships would never happen.  Horrible marriages would never take place.  Poor decision making could be avoided.  Things are going to happen.  Life is going to happen.  However, we do owe it to ourselves to stop, look and listen and more importantly being aware.  Be aware of whom you are spending your time.  Be aware of things they are saying to you and how they are saying them.  Be aware of certain mannerisms and habits that rub you the wrong way, but they always have an excuse for continuing.  Be aware of the people with whom they associate.  Be aware of how they spend their time.  Be aware of their family dynamics.  Be aware of how they interact with others when you’re dining out.  Be aware of their behavior in the presence of members of the opposite sex.  If certain behaviors continue to happen on a consistent basis, no matter how many times you’ve expressed your concern and how much the behavior bothers you, and excuse after excuse is being provided:  stop, look and listen.  Do not be afraid to trust your instincts.  Do not get to the point where a ton of bricks is falling down on you.  Be aware and let your strength and faith go to work for you!

Limit How Much You’re Willing to Lose

Falling in love is easy.  Falling out of love is tragic.  Knowing how to stay in love is an art.  When we first fall in love, everything is great.  Your significant other is the best thing on the planet and can do absolutely no wrong.  Butterflies are in constant flutter in your tummy, and the mere thought of your sweetheart makes your day a whole lot brighter.

Then, during the course of everyday life and managing situations, love tends to take a back seat to everything else going on that feels more significant.  More crucial.  Over time love falls from the top spot way down to near the very bottom.  When this happens people tend to withdraw from each other.  Lose sight of why they fell in love with each other in the first place.  They forget about the meaning of love.  Love slowly disappears and becomes nonexistent, and is replaced by distance, silence and eventually the falling out of love.  There is never a clear definitive answer as to the why’s and how’s of what happened and what lead to the current relationship status.  Things are just not the same anymore.  You’re not in love with each other anymore.  You can barely tolerate each other anymore.  Bottom line:  YOU WANT OUT!

Love is not a fantasy.  It is not something you can just leave alone and hope things will get better soon.  This will not take place without putting in the work and attention for this to happen.  Love has to be nurtured and protected.  Love can be a beautiful thing if handled properly.  Love should and must be treated with high regard and caring.  You have to care about being in love with that person.  You have to show loving that person matters.

If you are not willing to put yourself out there and experience love because you are afraid of getting hurt, being let down and disappointed, then you are not ready for love.  Love is a chance.  Love is a gamble.  It’s not love that fails us, it’s the relationship that fails us.  Love never fails.  With anything, you must decide how much you’re willing to lose and how much of yourself you’re willing to invest.  Before making the decision to take on any venture whether it’s business, relationships, love, buying a house or buying a car, know your limitations.  Know how far you’re willing to go before you turn around.  Know your boundaries.  Know what you’re willing to accept and not willing to accept.

With love, in many instances we allow too much to happen before we turn around.  We forget our boundaries.  We allow love to take total and complete control of who we are.  All for love sake.  We forget about the nurturing part, but we become so enthralled in the pure emotion of it all.  The excitement.  The good feeling it brings.  We forget that love is hard work.  Holding on to love in a relationship is very hard work.  And, when the relationship start to fail for whatever reason, the first thing we do is blame love.  I’ll never fall in love again!  Love sucks!  Love is for the weak!  No, love didn’t hurt you:  the relationship hurt you.  Love is still around but it’s just not in that failed relationship anymore.  Love will always be around and will always be waiting for us to take a chance on it.

Know your limits.  Keep a small part of yourself hidden just for you.  This small piece is for your survival when things go south.  Keep a piece of you held in a secret place.  Love does not mean that you have to give up every single part of who you are.  Every single part of your cell structure.  Love only means that you are willing to share (not give) your space, time, energy and heart with another human being for as long as you can.  It may last a lifetime or it may not.  In any event, however long it last, just love it while you have it and take away from it all the good things.  The not-so-g00d things, just let them go and heal.  When we lose too much of ourselves to love or anything for that matter, that’s how we become more prone to destruction, depression, self-doubt, low self-esteem and lack of self confidence.  There is nothing wrong with love, but you have to know yourself well enough to accept it for exactly what it is:  Love.

We are all on the verge of showing up!

Some of you might be asking yourselves what do I mean by that statement?  Simply put, all it means is we are a work in progress and once we’ve reached the point where we are no longer feeling ourselves and allowing our true nature to surface, that’s when we show up.  When I say show up, I’m talking about being who you are.  Loving yourself flaws and all.  Not really being concerned about how others look at you or what others say about you.  Showing up means we have let go of past thoughts and processes that once held us back.  We are now on the verge of being free!

Someone or something may have been instrumental in holding you in a place of mindless isolation without your knowledge, consent or awareness.  You didn’t know yourself well enough to understand just how manipulated and controlled you were.  Step by step and inch by inch you came to the realization that something just didn’t feel right.  Something was off.  Something was amiss.  That one person in your life who you thought had the best intentions only turned out to have the worst intentions.  Deceitful plans.  Toxic antagonism.  Evil strongholds.  It took you a while to see it because you wanted to believe nothing but the goodness of this person.  Your mind would not allow you to even navigate to the idea that this person was evil in its strongest form in the disguise of decency.

Word after word it became quite apparent just who or what you were dealing with.  The deception.  The tricks.  The mind games.  Time wasted.  This was not love.  This was something else.  Something you’ve never seen before.  Something you didn’t recognize.  Why?  Because it’s not a part of your makeup.  It’s not a part of who you are.  It’s not the basis of your foundation.  It’s far away from any part of your true nature.

Then, one day you woke up!  You can’t remember exactly what was going on when it happened nor can you remember the words that lead to your new-found freedom.  However, all you know is you’re different.  You feel different.  You look different.  Your face shines with a glow from the inside out.  You walk differently with your head held a little bit higher.  Your step a little bit more assured.  Your voice a little bit higher.  Your smile a little bit brighter.  And, your dreams a little bit bigger than they ever were.  Guess what friend?  That’s when you know you’ve finally shown up.  Congratulations on showing up!

No Time Like The Present

I’m in the process of de-clogging my mind from leftover garbage.  Useless things.  Worthless friendships/relationships.  Things that drag you down and are energy consumers.  I’ve made myself the promise of only participating in those things which will only benefit me in a positive manner.  Investing in people that are willing to bring something to the table other than give me, give me, give me and give me some more.  I don’t mind helping others, and I really do not see anything wrong with being there to lend a helping hand.  But, some people do not know how to cut it off and expect for you to be their door mat for life.  Well, I am here to tell you beautiful people . . . we were not put here to be anyone’s door mat, whipping boy, etc.  We have a responsibility to seek our full potential.  Reach goals and discover God-given talents that only we have.  We are special that way.  What we have on the inside, no one else has.  Only us.  We are a unique being with the expectation of fulfilling any and all destinies put before us.  It would be such a shame to live our whole life and not do that.  We must take a stand and hold ourselves accountable for our own lives.  It’s strictly up to us to do the very best we can to make it to the highest level of who we are.  We have to at least try, if nothing else.  We can then say we did our best.  But, if we do nothing and accept the status quo, then we only have ourselves to blame.  Be brave.  Be bold.  Exercise your faith.  Do it afraid.  Face the fear.  Do not be afraid to fail at first.  If you fail, keep on trying.  Do not give up until you can honestly and truly look yourself in the mirror and say, “I gave it my all”.  And, after you’ve given it your all and you’re still not satisfied with where your life is, then that’s the time to hand it over to God and allow Him to direct your path.  It doesn’t get any better than that.  Once you’ve done that, keep on living your life.  Be happy where you are while you’re transitioning to your next level.  Stand still and allow God to do His magic.  Keep the good parts of you.  Learn from the not-so-good parts of you.  Discard everything else.  Stay positive.  Stay strong.  Stay true.  Stay you.  Be blessed!

I had a dream but I woke up!

Needless to say this is about having loved and lost.  But, don’t fret my dear friends I am here to let you know that all is not lost.  Just because one dream does not come through like you’d hoped; does not mean you have to give up on it altogether.  That dream may not have been the right dream for you or maybe the timing was not right?  Who knows?  Who will ever know?  All you owe yourself is to not give up.  You owe it to yourself to continue on the search for that love you’ve been looking for all your life.  Whatever you do:  DO NOT SETTLE!!!!  You will regret settling, but you will never regret not giving up especially when you find that one true person who make you feel like flipping cartwheels in the snow, dancing in the rain and counting the stars.  I had a dream, but I woke up because it was not the right dream or the right person.  So, I’ve decided to make a new dream.  A better dream.  A dream beyond all dreams.  And you know what friends?  That’s the best decision I’ve ever made.  No, I have not found that person as of yet.  But, you know what I am no longer doing?  Settling for someone who does not appreciate me or all the good things I have to offer.  I am looking forward to finding that magical once-in-a-lifetime love, and not something that is merely disguising itself as love or an impersonation of what love is supposed to be.  I woke up to believing that it’s possible to find true love.  And, that dream I use to have that was an endless myriad of chaos and disorder, I am ridiculously happy to be rid of.  Purging myself of that emptiness only paves the way for the good stuff to find its way to me.  Bottom line:  Don’t hold on to a dream that no longer bear fruit but brings you heartache and pain; cloudiness and storms; let it go and allow the door to open for rainbows and sunshine.